Have you ever felt a strong attraction to a man, gotten some definite vibes from him, but then watched him walk away still having no idea how he really feels about you?
You’re not alone.
A lot of women today have the same problem—with guys who are either not communicating their true feelings, or who simply have no feelings to share.
And yes, it’s hard for a woman to have to “read the signals” of some of these guys and wonder just what he’s thinking.
What is he feeling? Is the attraction all in her head?
So what we’re going to do now is explain to you why guys sometimes act disinterested and how this is slightly different behavior than a man who legitimately just doesn’t care about you.
Then we’re going to show you how to pick up on these hints. A man’s social cues that suggest he likes you are easy to figure out—IF you understand why he acts like he’s not into you, even if he is.
Why Guys Fake Disinterest
The first thing to realize is that even if a guy likes you, he will probably create a shield of disinterest or mystery to keep you guessing. Yes, it’s frustratingly similar to the face of a man that just plain dislikes you…but believe me, the hints are there.
For one thing, attraction is instantaneous. According to studies coming out of the University of Pennsylvania, most men and women know within three seconds of meeting each other if sex is going to happen.
So after that attraction is expressed, you’re both working your way up to the decision you’ve already made subconsciously, finding the comfort and trust in each other that you need before moving forward.
The problem is that some guys are hiding how they really feel or just plain stalling in moving the relationship forward. So whatever mixed signals you’re getting are intentional, coming from a guy who is unsure how he feels about you beyond the strong mutual attraction.
Attraction is a given. Guys give away their attraction through these observable signs:
• His feet point towards you
• His face, lips and eyes appear “flushed”; giggly and unusually red as if blushing
• He lingers on, wanting to find any excuse to spend time with you
• He really tries to make the conversation interesting
• His body is “open” in the arms and legs; when he looks at you the eye contact is intense, even though he sometimes runs away
• He seems to be mirroring your own body language, posturing, way of speaking and gestures
• He remembers little things about you
• He seems to stand up straight, “puff out” his chest and look strong
• His voice is deeper in the “love-making” tone
• He finds reasons to make physical contact
• He strokes his hair or does other “grooming gestures”
Now these are the signs that he’s into you and they are, for the most part, difficult to control.
On the other hand, what he says can be easily fabricated, exaggerated or manipulated in some way to confuse you.
Consider this confusing behavior from his point of view. What is he really “saying” with his odd behavior and intentionally mixed signals? Let’s consider five reasons why guys might act disinterested or send mixed signals.
Ask yourself is this your guy’s line of thinking right now?
How to Read a Confusing Guy’s Mind
Guy Type 1: He thinks you already have a boyfriend or crush.
You sense definite signals from him but he always seems to dismiss himself from the competition. He feels it’s a lost cause. Winning your heart may require fighting off another guy that he perceives is closer to your heart. Believe it or not, most guys will “defer” if they sense you are taken or more interested in somebody else.
Solution 1: Let him know that you’re not in a relationship and that most guys you might talk to are just friends. He could be somebody special—make that clear!
Guy Type 2: He’s afraid of rejection.
Guys sometimes put out mixed signals if they’re afraid of you or more to the point, being rejected by you. Maybe he thinks he’s unworthy of you or some other self-loathing complex. While some men are just cowardly, others do this because they are emotionally vulnerable, perhaps baggage from a previous relationship.
Solution 2: If you like the guy despite his defensiveness, there’s nothing wrong with taking a chance and making the first move. Now some experts may advice against this, claiming that it’s too modern or too male-like in behavior.
But hey, times have changed. According to a Match.com poll, 91 percent of men said that they have no problem with a woman making the first move.
More to the point, some men are so shy they will never take the initiative because they feel it would be uncharacteristic or so “rude” somehow. He may literally be waiting for you to talk about the elephant in the room and admit that you know how he feels. So he might as well just come out and say it.
Now don’t be too aggressive. There are subtle ways to draw him out without scaring him off with too much attitude. Just continue to speak in a feminine way and imply that you do “like him” or that “there is something between us.”
Take tiny steps forward and see if he comes out to meet you half way. Once the shy guy sees that he’s not going to totally embarrass himself, he may suddenly get a surge of confidence and ask you out.
If he still rebuffs you after you call him on his weird, half-hearted interest, then at least you won’t have any regrets.
Guy Type 3: He’s ashamed of liking you or he thinks pleasing you is impossible.
This is more of a relationship problem than people realize. We’re not just talking about a man’s feelings or a man’s ego, but his entire social life which has shaped him into the man he is today. The opinions of his parents, his family, his friends, his religion/political stance, and so on.
Solution 3: Think long and hard about the relationship and decide whether you are able to really please him and vice versa. Does he perhaps see future problems that could arise that you don’t see? Could you make adjustments to be the kind of woman he needs you to be to “fit him” and his lifestyle? Or are you inflexible?
Give your guy the benefit of the doubt and start listening to what he’s saying. When he sends you mixed signals, do they all follow some recurring theme? Does he seem to get moody when you talk about certain issues that you disagree on? Does he try to send you subtle hints about the situations or lifestyle clashes that concern him?
Have you maybe been unrealistic in your expectations? Have you been too controlling in your expectations of him?
He may be saying, in so many words, “I want to like you…but you’re making it difficult.”
It’s time to renegotiate so that he can feel comfortable with you again.
Remember: A Confused Guy Wants to Talk
Most guys that send mixed signals are actually saying, at least internally, we need to talk about this. That’s why they linger around and send good signals right after a bad ones. They want to get this problem out in the open but are not sure how to do it.
So start thinking of ways to get the conversation started, the conversation they are dying to have.
Once you figure out what the guy is actually troubled by, you will be closer to figuring out what he needs to hear from you to start getting serious.
Part of being feminine is being able to figure out what a man is thinking, feeling and doing even without him admitting it. This is part of your charm—the knowledge to attract and keep a man because you understand him like no else does.
Yes, you can have the man of your dreams: wealthy, sexy and faithful IF you take the time to understand his motivations. Figure out what a man wants and how to give it to him at just the right time. He will love you for it!
Why Men Pull Away From Some Women Yet Fall Head Over Heels For Others
Have you ever wondered why a man will marry one women yet only want a casual relationship with another?
Have you ever heard a man say that he doesn’t want anything “serious” only to end up in a committed relationship a few weeks later with another woman?
Have you ever felt like you finally found something real with a man… only to have him go cold on you or pull away completely?
The reason this happens maybe be upsetting to you but I promise it’s actually really good news.
Men don’t pull away, disappear, and go cold because they’re bad people…
And they don’t avoid getting into a serious relationship because they’re afraid of commitment.
A man avoids getting into a relationship with a woman because he has doubts that she’s the right woman for him.
He feels like something’s missing…
Like he could probably do better…
If you want a man to feel like you’re the one, there’s one very specific thing that you must do…
After 12 years of working in the dating industry and reaching well over 3 million women, all over the world with my newsletter, interviews, and advice…
I’ve tracked the patterns that women who end up in successful relationships do and here’s what I found…
There’s one key difference between women who end up having a man pursue them for a serious relationship and women who end up single, alone, and frustrated…
Can you guess what it is?